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aykinoxia

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(no subject) [Jan. 11th, 2014|09:25 am]
aykinoxia
and i be your shadow,
we play this shadow game
of hate at first sight,
of what we might have been

and we liberate
floating in acceptance
of infinite possibilities
and conscious compassion love

all that matters
is the dance evolution
revolution of the footsteps
and truth that comes with it

vibeeee all around the world
i come seek you
grow me
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(no subject) [Jul. 24th, 2012|05:05 pm]
aykinoxia
i would like to understand the frustration i feel
when arises the possibility of not going to a festival.

it takes it's root in my solar plexus,
that's where the inner kid is.
the kid frustrated when it can't have what it wants,
what it thinks it deserves.
the one that does not let go...

it makes me feel like crying, it really does,
what do i look for in these places,
why is it so crucial to my well-being ?
why am i so attached ?

all these million people all over the world
that don't have access to many othings we have here,
i must think of them, of how they feel, of how they find joy...
to them i am spoiled,
as spoiled as all these people going to the festivals feel to me,
and they feel like i do now,
looking at our train of life.

the unequality.
the lack of access to things that most people would find ''normal''.
we seek consciousness by going to these festivals,
have you tried depriving yourself from the things you want the most ?
could that not also lead to a super deep consciousness experience ?

by this i experience my ego,
how i place myself to the rest of the world.
is this good for me, or am i hurting myself ?
because right now it sure hurts...
or is this an illusion ?

i think what hurts me the most, when i think of it,
is of how dance can be such a powerful medicine,
and like all medicines it should be accessible to all...
but it's not. it is commercial, it is conditionned,
by what social class you come from,
by how much money is in your wallet,
etc.

so the dancefloor becomes a parade
of all our beautiful illusions.
i'm sad of this.
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2012|01:51 pm]
aykinoxia
all this money spent
on party
looking for something,
whatcha looking for ?

fun?
friendship?
happiness?
simply the sensation to exist?
and you think those things can be bought maybe...
actually that's what we are doing.

this world is not made for us,
so we give them our time / energy in lousy jobs
so we can escape the world we are contributing to making even more solid.
is there a contradiction somewhere ?
i see one...
build the wall 5 days a week, take 2 days to try to break it down...
and again and again.

all this partying is fluff in the air,
it grows us maybe, yes, it probably does.
i see so many angels broken down by the drugs,
or any other addiction.

move on move on
you make it so easy now,
when i see the copies they make of each other.
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2012|12:25 pm]
aykinoxia
we are not against things,
we are with them,
we are them.

what is happening in the world
is also happening in the molecules of our body

we all have, inside of us, the equivalent
of the neo-liberal party,
and the angry students
trying to find a way,
and fighting.

we all have inside of us
the wall of shame,
the secret societies,
the lack of confidence,
the desire to control the unknown,
the fear of change.

and the percentage of our sick molecules
is the same everywhere in the world.
no one is sane yet,
we are all fucked up,
and that's why we oppose each other.
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2012|06:02 pm]
aykinoxia
music makes us one on the dancefloor...

but when we speak, we are not one anymore. we become... different. politicized. programmed by our social class, ambitions, by what we have lived, or what we have not lived.

is it because the dancefloor experience is superficial,
or is it because it's deeper than all our differences ?
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2012|06:51 pm]
aykinoxia
the things that make me furious
and i cannot speak

the level of hypocrisy,
the level of self-congratulation,
the level of self, self...

can we be selfless, nameless,
one world, one love, no heroes

so i run away from what they have turned this up to be,
the biggest catch for insecure ego to be flattered,
while they dare using words such as prychedelic and trance.
and... do i trust it will come down?

exert patience,
it is to the image of everything we have seen up to here
ignorance put forward.

their world is repulsive and vampiric,
i feel they are sucking out life force, sucking out potential,
to serve their somber thirst.
but it's not so much against them that i revolt,
but the people ignorant enough to not see what is going on,
the people, blind from admiration of heroes
that they want to be like them to be admired too,
the only way they think they'll find energy.

it's all power struggle, all i see
i look to escape this,
connect to the source, directly,
so the sickness of needing heroes, or needing to be one
simply disappears
and we can be one again.
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(no subject) [Mar. 10th, 2012|12:18 pm]
aykinoxia
these beautiful visions
coming from the mind's eye,
ajna, indigo, third eye

i am scared.
why.
why why why?
it's frustrating.
all i want to do is rub my head
against solid things, against the wall
i close the passage like a closed fist
and i fear explosions,
and i fear the trip,
and i fear the destination.

all things in it's time.
losing control, loosening the grip
is something that can be learned,
fear is only obstacles to overcome
is what make me more who i am
and less what i've been made out to be.

enjoy.
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(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2012|12:31 pm]
aykinoxia
i don't believe in superstars,
i don't pray to fake altars,

i know you infinite, we are the same
dealing with the same world,
the same problems,
the same hesitations, the same programmation.

get off your podium, take off your mask,
and don't be ashamed, we are the same.

my best hope is that one day,
more people will understand what i'm trying to say.
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2011|03:44 pm]
aykinoxia
people under the influence of programmation think they do good,
but how can they know the deeper good.
good is what they have been taught to be good,
good is on program,
and you are still (in) the hands of the machine.

the role you play was already written in their scheme,
you were the perfect candidate,
you have been led there
with (dis)information, culpabilization,
because they know human nature,
they have been studying it for millions of years.

and what have we been taught about being human?
have we been taught how to breathe?
how to use our brains properly?
how to think for ourself, above the influence,
how to free our minds?
have we been taught how to love?

mostly we've been taught how to fear.
how to be slaves. how to sit. how to work. how to obey under the menace.
how to disobey under the menace. how to revolt. how to be mad, how to be against them so they can arrest us, so we can be an example of what they do to those that rebel... to instill fear upon the rest, to keep them working.

we are slaves, are we not?
is this apocalypse?
(revelation?)
when people realize this, wake up,
when of course they don't accept this...
and then realize that they are not the ones in possession
of more than enough bombs to destroy all life on earth...

i am one in a million,
i stand here by your side,
i don't see anything that we can do...
only continue to keep our eyes open
work for self realization
and consciousness
and what,
what?
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(no subject) [Oct. 25th, 2011|12:31 am]
aykinoxia
why i feel this, revisited feeling from deep youth, trying to integrate with people and still feeling rejected for being who i am, feeling like the one we don't really want, the one that does not belong.

i like being a black sheep, i think it is a virtue. i think it is the most interesting people.

why do i let myself be hurt by the comments of the other? why do i take it like this? nothing is wrong with me. nothing is wrong, even though they say there is... nothing is wrong, i am who i am.

we are who we are and if we don't integrate so easily it's just that we have a different bug than others. that's why it is beneficial to be yourself, with other people who are themself.

how can i have my place in the golden chariot without pretending i am someone else?
what what what?
i used to think it's because i am ugly. not the right hair, not the right face, not the right clothes... not enough money... i have hated myself so much for it and made it worse.

this trip, will make me visit this? it already started like this... being kept out of a ride full of beautiful people and facing the way alone... like it's always been. but i see it clearer, no wait, i've always seen it clear... but i was ashamed of it. ashamed of being myself, living this experience. why why why? i still am, a little. but i am more... mad? yes. i am. but i also have consciousness to make me go farther than being just mad.

explore. help me, life.
i understand those that pray... this is like a prayer.
mysticism, consciousness, prayer, evolution, understanding, acceptation, love.

everything <3
good night from san fransisco :)
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