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i would like to understand the frustration i feel when arises the… - el camino [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
aykinoxia

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[Jul. 24th, 2012|05:05 pm]
aykinoxia
i would like to understand the frustration i feel
when arises the possibility of not going to a festival.

it takes it's root in my solar plexus,
that's where the inner kid is.
the kid frustrated when it can't have what it wants,
what it thinks it deserves.
the one that does not let go...

it makes me feel like crying, it really does,
what do i look for in these places,
why is it so crucial to my well-being ?
why am i so attached ?

all these million people all over the world
that don't have access to many othings we have here,
i must think of them, of how they feel, of how they find joy...
to them i am spoiled,
as spoiled as all these people going to the festivals feel to me,
and they feel like i do now,
looking at our train of life.

the unequality.
the lack of access to things that most people would find ''normal''.
we seek consciousness by going to these festivals,
have you tried depriving yourself from the things you want the most ?
could that not also lead to a super deep consciousness experience ?

by this i experience my ego,
how i place myself to the rest of the world.
is this good for me, or am i hurting myself ?
because right now it sure hurts...
or is this an illusion ?

i think what hurts me the most, when i think of it,
is of how dance can be such a powerful medicine,
and like all medicines it should be accessible to all...
but it's not. it is commercial, it is conditionned,
by what social class you come from,
by how much money is in your wallet,
etc.

so the dancefloor becomes a parade
of all our beautiful illusions.
i'm sad of this.
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